Hear Me
by PrincessofDarkness11
Summary: James and Sirius have their last tryst. Was it love? Remus thinks so. Can Sirius convince him otherwise? Originally a OneShot, now adding chapters, thanks to encouraging reviews! Plz R
1. Failed Affections

**Failed Affections**

**Disclaimer: I do not, under any circumstances, own the HP Universe. **

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

He read and reread the note. 'The usual spot… P' He knew what that meant. The only problem was- well, red hair and brilliant green eyes. She said she understood, but he still just didn't know. _Well, maybe just this last time… then I'll break it off._ Yeah. Easier said than done.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"So, you showed up," a voice said from the shadows, "The way you were looking at the note I didn't think you would."

"Listen Padfoot… I don't think this is such a good idea…"

Sirius stepped up behind him and slid his arms around his close friend. "Chill Prongs… Lily said it was okay, didn't she?"

"Yeah, but it still feels wrong to be… with you… and her… I don't know," James said, sighing and leaning back into the embrace.

"Just relax," Sirius said, grinning. He stepped away from James, mussing his hair. James grinned back at him.

"Maybe we could just… hang out- or something- tonight," James said, sitting down on the tattered couch.

"Hey, Moony isn't lending us his 'spot' so we can _talk_, but I guess it'd be okay," Sirius replied, shedding his heavy winter jacket. James followed suit and they sat in their simple muggle clothes- in silence.

"I thought you wanted to talk," Sirius said.

James smirked. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Well… did you see that chick and her boyfriend making out after Potions? I didn't know which one I'd like to shag more… her or him," Sirius purred.

"If you're trying to make me jealous, it isn't going to work," James said stubbornly.

"Damn shame…" he joked.

"Y'know, Sirius, you look _awfully _tense…" James said, pulling his knees up under him and crawling toward him, "Let me get that for you."

Sirius turned his back to him and allowed him to remove his shirt. James' hands were deft on Sirius' back and shoulders, kneading the knots out of the muscles with all the skill of a professional masseuse.

When he had finished with the massage, James snaked his hands around Sirius' shoulders, pulling him backward. Sirius twisted so that he landed on top of James. He was lying between James' legs, grinning seductively. In a millisecond Sirius had captured James' lips with his own, entwining their tongues in a passionate kiss. Sirius removed James' shirt, along with most of his own clothing, until he was clad in only his black silk boxers. James gasped as Sirius' mouth traveled down his jaw and neck, and then back up again. _This is wrong… this is wrong… but then why does it feel so right?_ he thought. His hands had begun- seemingly of their own accord- moving up and down Sirius' body, exploring the familiar curves and planes of his skin. James' pants were soon discarded as well, as the two lovers became completely involved in one another…

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Sirius woke first, still entangled with James. He simply watched him for a while, before deciding that it was time for him to wake as well. He shook him lightly at first, then a little harder.

"James, hey idiot wake up," Sirius said, "Hey, your girlfriends here and she wants to do another threesome."

James' eyes snapped open and he looked around the room with wide eyes. He turned a sneering face on his friend. "Very funny, Padfoot. A real rib-cracker."

"I thought you might enjoy that one…" Sirius said, chuckling, "Now, let's go, before we miss breakfast."

He had already stood and was pulling on his clothes as he spoke. James did the same, though much slower. He finally pulled on his shirt and looked solemnly at Sirius.

"This can't happen again," he said softly, "I have a committment to Lily… you understand..."

Sirius' smile disappeared and he looked at the floor. "I know," he said monotonously.

"Oh come on! It's not like you couldn't have anybody in the school… guy _or _girl," James said, "And it's not like we can never see each other ever again… I mean, we'll still be mates."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius said, grinning again, "And you're right… I _could_ have anybody." _Except the only one I really want… _he thought, _You…_

They walked to the Great Hall together and walked in, laughing about some new scheme that they had cooked up. Remus looked sadly from one to the other, knowing what had transpired. He'd have to be a doubly good friend to Sirius… considering James still had Lily. But Sirius- Sirius had no one… except Moony.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**So? Wow, my first _posted_ slash fanfic… I'm so embarrassed! What'd you think? Should I write a sequel or leave it as a one shot? Maybe turn this into a prologue? I have so many ideas running around in my head… lol. Review, and help me figure out what to do! After I get around 15 or 20 reviews I'll let you know what I'm doing! Bye for now!**


	2. Confessions

**This is a new chapter to failed affections. It started out as a Sirius/James one-shot, but due to pushing from my friends and, of course, the plot bunnies, it is now a Sirius/Remus multi-chapters fanfiction. Surprisingly enough, I've never read any stories that were predominantly about the Marauders, so I don't know what prompted me to write this… but I am. Lol. I hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter 2**

**X**

"Remy, come on! We have to get to Zonko's before all of the good stuff is sold out!" Sirius whined, pulling on Remus' sleeve like a child.

"Could I possibly grab a jacket or something first?" Remus snapped, wrenching his arm away, "It _is_ December, you fuckwit. It's a little chilly…"

Sirius placed a hand over his heart and feigned hurt. "Ouch, Moony. You wound me with your words." He grinned. "Careful, mate. You're starting to sound like Snivellus."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Well, maybe I'm spending too much time with him…"

Sirius growled, pouncing on his best friend and knocking him onto the small four-poster. "You wouldn't…" he hissed, his dark eyes boring into Remus' topaz ones, glinting dangerously.

"Get off, Padfoot," Remus muttered, pushing the boy off of him and turning away to hide his blush, "You know it was just a joke." _'Not like you really care who I'm with…'_

"Yes, well, you shouldn't joke about something like that," Sirius said, watching him rummage through his trunk.

"Aha!" Remus said, pulling out his heavy, tan wool pea-coat, "Just what I was looking for." He procured the matching scarf, gloves, and hat and turned to Sirius, grinning. "Now we can go."

"Yeah… not going to get anything good, though," Sirius grumbled, pulling on his black coat as they walked out of the Gryffindor common room.

"Shut up, Padfoot. You know he always saves the best stuff for us," Remus said, "Look, there's James and Peter. Let's go!" He broke into a run with Sirius right behind him and skidded to a halt in front of their friends.

"Took you guys long enough," James said, raising an eyebrow.

"Moony had to get all pretty," Sirius replied, fluttering his eyelashes.

Remus smacked him over the head, making James laugh. "I'm sorry if I don't fancy freezing to death out here! You could have gone ahead."

"I'm only kidding…" Sirius said, pouting at him, "Don't be mad, Remy."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Let's go…"

They walked as a group to Hogsmeade and headed straight for Zonko's Joke Shop. Sure enough, the old prankster has set a select bunch of items aside specifically for the marauders, his _best customers_. They grinned at him, discussing what each item did before paying for their load and leaving.

"Hey, guys… I kind of promised Lily I'd meet her- somewhere, so I'll see you later," James said, pointedly avoiding Sirius' gaze as he sped off.

"Come on, Padfoot. Let's go for a walk," Remus said, pulling him in the opposite direction.

"Hey, Peter… go tail James or something. Surely you can find something else to do," Sirius shot over his shoulder at the constantly nervous boy. He gave a frightened little squeak and scurried off. Sirius had never really like him, but James felt sorry for the boy so… he had accepted him.

Remus sighed. "You should be nicer to him, Sirius."

"Why?" he asked, wrinkling his nose in disgust, "I don't trust him. I know James does, so I can tolerate him, but he's… shifty. I'll never trust him. Or like him."

"Alright… I guess tolerance is all that can be asked of you," Remus said.

They walked in silence for a while, and Remus kept casting sideways glances at him. Every time he would open his mouth to speak he'd suddenly shut it again and look away quickly. Finally Sirius had had enough.

"What do you want to ask? Because I can tell that you have something to say," he said.

"I was just wondering- if you were okay," Remus said quietly, "I know how close you and James were and ever since… well, you've been kind of distanced. I'm worried."

Sirius sighed, suddenly throwing himself backwards into the snow. He closed his eyes and tried to block out the memories of James. His skin… his lips… He shook his head. It all belonged to Lily, now. It would never be his again.

"I'm fine," he said, but his voice cracked, belying his true feelings.

Remus sat next to him. "No, you're not. Do you want to talk about it?" He got no response, so he simply continued. "I know you still love him… but- you have to accept that he's made his choice. And he is choosing to be with Lily. Can't you just be happy for him?"

"I _am_ happy for him!" Sirius growled, glaring up at him, "I'm glad that he's happy, but I still wish that he could have been happy with me…"

"Do you hate her?" Remus asked softly.

"No, I don't hate Lily. She's wonderful… you know as well as I do. She's smart and funny and beautiful and sweet. James is lucky to have her."

"He was lucky to have _you_," Remus said, and it was so quiet that it was almost a whisper.

Sirius sat up quickly and looked at him in confusion. Remus wouldn't meet his gaze… instead he was tracing random patterns in the snow and trying to pretend that he hadn't said anything. In fact, he hadn't _meant_ to say anything. It had just sort of- come out.

Suddenly, it dawned on Sirius. All the time that he'd been with James… Remus had been _in love with him_. It made sense, now that he thought of it. Every time that he and James fought, Remus would be there for him with no questions asked, and then he would yell at James to make up his mind, "because he was hurting everybody around him". And on the few occasions when Remus had walked in on him and James, he could have sworn he saw jealousy and hurt in the boy's eyes, but he retreated so quickly that he just chalked it up to his imagination. Now… he was sure that it wasn't.

"We should- head back to school," Remus said, moving to stand up.

Sirius caught his wrist and pulled him back down. "No. We have to talk."

He groaned. "Forget it. I don't know why I said that. Let's just go…"

"Remus," Sirius growled, forcing the boy to look at him with a hand under his chin.

"What?" Remus breathed, pulling away from the touch. He could feel the tears stinging his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He wouldn't allow himself to become vulnerable, and he _certainly_ wouldn't allow himself the delusion that Sirius could ever reciprocate his own feelings. "Please… don't say anything. You don't need to. You love James… I'm- just being stupid. I'm sorry…"

He stood quickly and ran back toward the castle, leaving Sirius in the snow to think about what had just transpired. Remus… loved him… but he loved James. Didn't he? He certainly loved his body. But that was pretty much all they had ever shared. They never really talked, and when they had it almost always ended up with both of them angry. Perhaps he didn't love James quite the way that he had always thought… That wasn't to say that he didn't love James at all. Certainly he loved him like a friend, brother, and comrade, but- could he really envision himself spending the rest of his life with the boy? No… they were too similar- and too different. Maybe it was time to move on…

X

Okay. There is the first chapter of the RL/SB goodness. Short. I know. Sorry for that. And I know it might be moving a bit fast. BTW… this takes place in their 7th year and three months after the previous SB/JP bit. Just so you know. Thanks for reading and please REVIEW!


End file.
